Missing Popdaddy

My last picture of Popdaddy. Carl and Kimberly were up for their last visit with him and Eric and Tara came over for a visit. The kids were drawing pictures for him and here Clark was showing him the picture he had drawn. It was really one of his last lucid times and even here he was extremely weak. (What looks like a bandage over his right ear is actually padding someone had put on his cannula to keep it from rubbing his ear--it was supposed to be behind his ear but had worked its way forward.)

It has been almost six weeks since Popdaddy graduated this life to his glorious homecoming in Heaven. I have finally gotten past the point of starting down the hallway to check on him, I don't want to rush out of church services to get home "because we need to take care of Dad" and I no longer think I have to turn down social invitations because I don't want to leave Dad or have to find care for him. But I still haven't gotten to the point that I am not reminded of him many times a day. On our way home from Big Meadows I felt sad because he wasn't there for me to tell about our camping trip and excursions. As we browsed in the gift shop I still looked at books and mugs that I thought he would like for a gift. And recently on the way home from Rocky Gap, I felt sad to not be able to tell him about kayaking on the beautiful lake. I am so glad that I did have the experiences last summer of being able to get away to Loft Mountain, one of his favorite camping spots, and did bring him a book about the Skyline Drive and chatted with him about out trip. Looking back, I am so glad that we took that trip although at the time I felt a little guilty leaving him and putting extra burdens on my family in our absence. Now I almost wish we had taken more trips to places he loved so that we could have shared the experiences with him.

I am so grateful for the time we had with him here in our home. I don't regret making that decision at all. At times it seemed hard and long but looking back it seems like just a blink--kind of like raising kids! Having him here made us grow closer to him and so losing him is harder in a way--we miss him more. But oh what wonderful memories we have to cherish!