Memories

I had a great childhood. Other people read about "old times" by reading Little House on the Prairie and other such books. But at least once a year, I got to live it. Both of my grandmothers and many aunts lived in the country in Virginia and Southern Ohio without electricity or indoor plumbing.

While visiting my grandparents Whitten I remember being given a candle to take with me when climbing the stairs to my bedroom! Imagine! Each of the four bedrooms in their rustic house contained two beds, each with a fluffy feather mattress. They were prepared for lots of company. My grandparents' bed was on the first floor. Their bedroom was open to the living room like it was intended to be a living room and dining room. There was a pot belly wood burning stove in the bedroom part.

Across the hall from the living room was the dining room with massive dining room furniture and a beautiful pie safe in the corner containing pretty dishes. I remember that there was food on the table at all times. After a meal leftovers were covered with another tablecloth. Later, they had electricity installed so I guess they had a refrigerator so I guess some of the food was refrigerated but my memory is that new dishes were just added at the next meal. (No sandwiches for lunch...every meal was a large one!) In the large kitchen there was a big wood burning cook stove and a large basket containing big chunks of wood that my grandmother would shove in top while removing the circular lids on the top with an iron implement. They did have running water at the sink! My grandfather had run a pipe from an outdoor spring into the kitchen. It ran continuously, which caused me to ask my mother why she didn't fuss at my grandmother to turn off the water like she did to me at home! There was a ladle hanging by the sink that everyone used to get a drink of water. I guess it helped to build up immunities to bacteria because I don't ever remember anyone being sick! I am sure having "running water" helped my grandmother tremendously as my aunt had a pump outside. I loved pumping it to fill a pail with water but I am sure that meant a lot of work for her. My other grandmother in Ohio had a pump at her sink in the kitchen. I have memories of helping my grandmother snap string beans sitting on their large enclosed backporch.

And bathroom facilities...or lack thereof. From my earliest days I was familiar with the little building out back with the half moon carved on the door. I didn't like using it but was admonished by my mother that the chamber pot under each bed was only for nighttime use. Didn't I realize that someone had to empty that. No, I never thought of that, only being concerned about my own comfort. Once I heard an aunt talking about having encountered a copperhead snake in the outhouse and the next time I had to use that facility at night I made the mistake of checking out the opening with my flashlight...not a good idea!

Although at some point in my childhood my grandparents did have electricity and a TV, I don't have any memories of watching it. I played outside under their huge pine tree, sweeping up all the pine needles and playing house. I dug up different kinds of moss which became my play food. I walked down the hill and across a field and opened a big gate to wait for the mailman to take the mail back to the house. At one point they had a horse because I remember my sister, Peggy and her husband, Jim (or he may have been her boyfriend at that point) taking me for a ride. I fell off and ran into the house shouting that I had broken my leg. I couldn't understand why the adults all laughed at me instead of taking my complaint seriously!

I had a great time visiting both my grandparents but I realized at an early age that I didn't have the same relationship with them that my other cousins who lived near them had. My grandmother would chatter away about what Wanda and Donna (cousins) liked to do and I think I felt a little sad that she didn't know more about me. I knew they loved me and in my teenage years I got to know them a little better when they lived with us for a time. Those were my most memorable times. My grandmother sitting at the table in the kitchen while I baked cookies and chatting. She admired things that I had sewn and shared that she had never been much of a seamstress. My grandfather was a sort of gruff old man but I loved him. I knew he loved me even though he didn't fuss over me like my grandmom did (which frankly sometimes annoyed me!). On a visit to our house I remember once him walking to the corner store and when he returned, asking me if I liked Dentyne gum. I didn't really but didn't want to hurt his feeling so I said yes. He then tossed me a pack, saying, "Here you go, girl." He always called me "girl" and it made me feel special for some reason. In actuality with so many grandchildren and seeing me so seldom, he probably forgot my name!

I have been realizing lately that I really didn't have deep relationships with any adults as a child. I had lots of adults that loved me but they were so busy providing for me that I don't remember just talking and building a relationship. That is why, I think, the time that my dad lived with us is so special to me. For the first time in my life I spent a lot of hours just sitting and "being" with him. Listening to his stories of growing up and his philosophies of life.

Maybe that is why I so much want to have relationships with my grandchildren. I want to be available to just listen or to share my life lessons with them. And especially why I don't want to lose that with our "far away grandchildren" in North Carolina. I am so happy that they are willing to travel so often to visit and that they are welcoming to us when we travel to visit them. Do I do it perfectly? Far from it. Sometimes I get impatient or tired and I feel badly when I do. I hope they know that I love them even when I am cranky. Happily, their parents are training them well and, for the most part, they are cooperative and non-complaining while with us.

My grandchildren won't have the same kind of memories I had. We do have electricity, running water that you can turn on and off with a knob and toilets that flush. But it is my desire that they know they are loved and that NiNi and Dad-Dad and those "other" grandparents are always there to listen and share the wisdom the Lord has given.